rbn
Live imperfectly with great delight.
Moment
That moment when you realize you'll have to choose between love and following your dreams.
It exists.
And it's here.
Like Ashes
I did something glorious today.
I woke up with hurt in my heart
and set out to change it.
I took the flowers he gave me
so very long ago
those flowers that once held so much joy and love
and i put them in a bag.
I drove around, the windows down and the music loud
I drove to all our spots
those spots that helped us make our memories starting two years ago
and I spread those flowers like ashes.
Like ashes of someone dead and burned,
those flowers are of someone dead and burned.
The boy he was when he gave them to me is dead,
the girl I was when he gave them to me is dead,
the love we shared is dead,
and those bridges burned.
Some of those spots that saw us so long ago
held beautiful memories.
Some, one in the same, held pain.
But I scattered those flowers like ashes.
Both beautiful and painful.
Crunching up those dead flowers
that once brought me so much joy,
scattering them to the winds
at the places where we made memories
to seal my past.
But those flowers held beautiful memories.
And thats what I scattered.
Thus sealing my past and readying myself
to dive into my future.
And I am SO excited.
Just a little freaky...
So the entire month of July I was a church camp counselor. The first week a girl made me an anklet. She said it was a wish anklet. She told me that when I put it on to make a wish and when it falls off, it'll come true. So I did. And my wish..."I wish I could find a guy that could actually handle me." And it's been on my ankle ever since. But it just fell off. Weird.
How funny
Welp, blind date turned into my boyfriend 
And he's fantastic.
Hmm...
Well the "blind date" was really fun. Like super fun. And then he got my number and texted me for a while. And then he found out I only have a tape player in my truck and don't have a christmas mix to drive home to....today he came to my dorm and gave me two mixed TAPES of christmas music for the ride home...and he wants to take me to olive garden tonight....
But I am not going to get to get excited. It'll be just for fun. I don't know anything about him. He doesn't know me. I'll just go and have good conversation and a good meal. I will NOT be a girlfriend just so he can have a girlfriend. I don't fit molds. I don't fit positions. Thats not okay with me. So if it comes to that...we're definitely having that conversation. But we'll see. Olive Garden tonight.
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