rbn
Don't tell me the sky's the limit when there are foot prints on the moon.
highToday was the last day of High School. Ever. Quite bittersweet as everyone expects. I just looked at people I see every day walking to their classes and we've never spoken and thought, "Wow. I will never, ever see you again." It's so weird to think that there have been so many moments like that and we rarely even realize it. I was kind of in a daze all day. Going from one day to the next, realizing that I was ending my routine that has lasted for so long. Exact same route to each class, wave to the same people every day, kiss the boy between these certain hours, trip over that one spot, get yelled at by that one security guard. I was pretty okay for most of the day. Jeni wasn't really speaking to me. That didn't really help at all. My best friend decided not to acknowledge my existence on our last day of school together ever. Great, right? *sigh* My boyfriend was sad because he's a Junior and this is something he's really struggling with. My junior and sophomore friends were on the verge of tears every time i looked at them so I tried my hardest to talk and laugh loud and often. It worked. Until the last hour of the day. Theater. Thats when it started to sink in. It was over. No more of these wonderful memories or people. Ever again. Nothing will ever be the same again. Ever. Nothing to fall back on. Nothing to hold on to. Nothing. I was still okay during class, asking those last few people to sign my year book in the tiny spaces that are left, telling people who were tearing up to stop that(in a joking way, of course), trying not to pay attention to Mrs. Bemis tearing up, running around and trying not to let Jeni's silence bother me. Then we sat in a circle and talked. For the last time. I said goodbye to the stage. For the last time. The stage that I have performed on and made advancements in my life on so many times. So much of my life has been lived in that theater. It was almost eerie. I was sitting next to one of the Juniors of the class as she started to bawl when she handed me her yearbook. That was the start of my tears. I have never cried in public before. I've never let myself. And just like all the times before I tried so hard to reign in the tears. Then one of my senior friends began to bawl. That brought more tears. But when it really started is when I stood up to take my yearbook to one of my guy friends who has been my friend since freshman year. I stood up and saw all of these faces of the people that I have come to love so dearly, I saw the stage which is splattered with paint(we don't have a set room), I saw the house and all the empty chairs. I asked Vance to sign my yearbook and then I saw sherry's face. Sherry is a junior that i've become best friends with. She is one of the absolute sweetest people i have ever met and her eyes were puffy and red. I lost it. I turned away from the circle as Jeni began to cry as she talked about The Great Four. Then Sherry stood up and hugged me and I was gone. Sam, a guy who I've come to absolutely adore and who is huuuge and is just one big teddy bear with a blonde, curly beard....stood up and grabbed me and told me he is going to miss me and he wishes that this wasn't goodbye. I sobbed into his chest and what really got me was he kissed me on the cheek. Then another guy friend who has been my friend since i first moved here in 6th grade came up to me. We haven't had the best relationship the past year because he had turned into quite a prick but in the last couple months he has redeemed himself. He opened his arms and said "I know i'm not the huggy type but...give me a hug. It's been great, bud." That killed me too. Then one of the other guys in theater(who's ears i pierced a few days ago) came up and was crying telling me he's going to text me every day. Then of course all the girls were bawling and they came up and grabbed me. Some more so a "it's been nice knowing you" kind of thing. Sara, the junior i was sitting next to, came up with the most horrible look on her face and gave me a hug and said, "I'll never forget you." Gosh it feels like i'm on death row or something. Everyone always says this isn't goodbye but it is. Everyone should know deep down that though you say you'll write and visit and bla bla bla...that eventually you will grow apart and the person that you had grown so close to will take a piece of you with them. It's almost not worth it. Almost. Graduation is friday. But i don't think it will be as emotional as telling my theater troupe goodbye. I hate change. I wish I could be 17 forever. Ugh.
Profile
Calendar
Recent Visitors
November 16th
cornholio23
November 5th
fairyfriend
October 31st
LastDitch82
October 30th
LastDitch82
americancer
ontheway
October 25th
MakenZero
October 18th
Andreux
October 9th
Andreux
masterstream
